Is it not a fond-peevish humour in mee to disagree from a thousand to whom my fortune joineth mee, without whom I cannot live, to adhere unto one or two that are out of my commerce and conversion; or rather to a fantasticall conceit, or fanciefull desire, for a thing I cannot obtaine?
Michel de Montaigne Essays, Transl. John Florio

... but the Gentleman, upon tying his horse at the wooden post in front of the Guesthouse, went in to Inquire as to the Availability of any Substance of the Thirst-quenching, Mind-Numbing Ilk, thereupon being referred through the intermediation of a stretched out Finger, to be found in the direct Continuation of a hand at the very end of an arm springing from the Shoulder of a one-legged Giant leaning on the wall right by the door, to the little counter where a chubby looking Host wearing an apron whose original Color would have been as impossible to divine, as the current one to describe, but who, being not merely of a friendly Nature, but also not disinclined to earn a quick Dollar or two through the sale of Alcoholic Beverages, bullets, safety pins, buttons for Trousers, fake Social Security Cards, Magick Quills made of Angels' feathers, shoelaces, chewing Tobacco and all such as might become needful to a Gentleman during his peregrinations through this World of Woe, happily obliged him with a Choice between a brownish potion emanating a strong Smell and an almost visible Intoxication and a Pint of a frothy, pee-looking-like drink, being all-too-quick to respond, upon having been asked, that yeah, indeed there was really no need for a Choice, and that barring the unlikely eventuality that our Gentleman was broke or in some other such degree of a dire Need for Moneys, he could of course have both the offerings, and more on top, something to chew on p’haps, to make the evening better, for him, if not for the poor horse outside, whom, upon the Gentleman's turning his head in pursuance of the intimation discerned in the brief gesture of the head of the Host, he saw flying off blown away by the Mighty Wind that had suddenly started of nowhere, legs spread out in the fashion of a Geometrick Figure yet to be named, Head turned to one side, Eyes gazing briefly inside, but not Brief enough that the imploring questioning in Them ("Why, oh why me?") could escape the Notice of all those gathered. There goes your horse, the one-legged giant at the door remarked matter-of-factly. So the Gentleman took his drink and a little Plate on which the Host had slapped some sort of round cake with a strong smell of week-old fish and the color a swollen Eye has after having been pummelled in a fistfight, and sat himself down at a table and upon tasting first one, then the other, bethought himself to Inquire, might not they have a Room to spare, for a Nighte or thereabouts, seeing as the Golden Orb of the Sun had long disappeared, first behind Clouds then, after a while, behind the Horizon, gone into the Netherworld in order to let his own Horses loose to a drink of Netherworld water, that they might Recover their Strength for a new Day, except of course, the Man thought, hopefully He will better tie his Horses lest there be eternal Darkness in this World of Woe, to the delight of the Unclean one. Now, since he was in a Guesthouse, and since the 'no vacancy' sign was not posted outside the door, such an Inquiry caught everyone by surprise, particularly as there were some doubts as to whom it was addressed, seeing that the Host was busy at the precise moment it had been Vocalized with something that looked as though she was trying to make the Pinky Finger of her Right hand traverse her egg-shaped, wig-covered Head through the Miraculous channels of the Ear whereby sounds first approach our Fancy, employing to this purpose a quick, screwing motion, every now and then interrupted by a taking of the finger out and careful examination of the contents of the tip thereof, that made one think it was not a crossing of the Head that was at stake, but rather some odd prospecting in search of gold or some other such Material Worthy of Interest. Consequently, the Gentleman misinterpreted the Silence as a Negative or in other way Discouraging Answer, and represented that he might be just as content as a bug in a rug were they to at least provide him with a bed, or some other such worthy of lying down one's head and stretching out one's bones overnight. Thereupon, and with a Voice wherein one could easily discern Disappointment at the Results of the just engaged-in Foray (unless it Be mere Sleepiness inherent in any Activity involving the sitting around for endless hours, the blank staring at walls stained by fly-shit, vomit, blood, and multifarious other such liquids, only some of which had at some other point in Time been disbursed in glasses or glass-receptacles, or, even worse, compunction at what She knew She was about to have to Utter), the Host spake, and she said: But of course, my dear friend, that we have Rooms available for travelers such as yourself. Indeed, you are so lucky as to be able to again exercise that marvelous Human Attribute, Choice. For indeed know that we have two rooms available in our establishment, rooms that, though similar in all Respects, do differ in one essential Point, viz. one of these rooms, my liege, will afford you a soft bed that will soon enough transport you into the land of Morpheus, but no sooner will you have crossed that threshold than you should expect terrible Visions to trouble your sleep, fearful Monsters to chase you silly all night long, up until the moment when Aurora's rosy fingers shall spread out over the Oriental Heavens announcing the rising of the Sun. Expect, traveler, to spend your night in sweat and terror, nay, know that some people have found it beyond their power to withhold within themselves the loathsome Productions that their Bodies generate after a too surfeitful Meal when their Minds were impressed with the fearful imaginings of the awful- Pray thee, what of the other Room? inquired the Gentleman. As for the other Room, the Woman went on in the same breath, know that the bed in that room will keep you tied and Prisoner to this world, that the whole night shall pass and you shalt find yourself unable to close your eyes no matter what. As the host finished praising her wares, and as the Gentleman considered with himself for a while whether it truly was worthy of a Person such as him to be so scared of mere trifling nocturnal Visions as to venture in that other Room, running the risk of wasting the Nighttime that is given by God Mortals that they may fully replenish the stock of Powers that make them run the Earth, there was the voice of the one-legged Giant standing by the door who in a hoarse voice interjected: What about the other Room? he said. Nay, he's too young for that, the Woman said, 'twould be a Shame. What other Room? The Gentleman inquired? Why, there is this third Room but let me prior to pointing it out to You stress that this Room you should not take your chances in. For in this Room, my friend, thy dreams shall be of such a pleasant nature, clear skies and beautiful gardens and streams cool to the feet with golden Fishes jumping out and perfumed flowers and sweet fruits and many other such as might make one think one was in Heaven, so that one might determine not to ever again forsake that place, and indeed never wake up again, which, would be mighty foolish not only on account of it is only an illusion, and of your being still too young to give up life, but also because that would cause us so much hardship, as we would have to take you and bury you in the little hill behind the barn, and you know, or if you don't know, I shall tell you now that the soil is hard this time of the Year and I get only a little help from my husband there, whom, you can see full well, fate hasn't been kind to. Forsooth, it would be Pointless to rent a bed when one was told in advance one could not sleep in't, he thought. For whether it is better to sleep and dream so nice that you are sorry to awake, or so frightfully that you are thankful it was all merely a nightly vision, no one would argue about the uselessness of a Nighte spent tossing and turning on a hard bed. So he spake: Yeah, I believe I shall have the middle Room you mentioned, that I may ruminate as to which of the other two rooms is best.
Fanciefull Diary, Chapter Zero, Prior to the Beginning